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Night Changes

Yes, I know the title of this post is a One Direction song, but I have a good reason! I was driving home from Target listening to "Night Changes" and it hit me like a wall of bricks when the song says, "Does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes?" YES! Yes, it does drive me crazy. 

You see, this week has been nothing short of the highest highs and the lowest lows. I've gone to bed crying and I've gone to bed with a peaceful soul. But we should backtrack so you know why this is all happening. Last week I had a job interview, my second since graduating from college. It was for a company that launched a website all about SEC College Football and they were looking for a social media manager. I was talked up by people I knew in the sports industry and landed an interview. I thought the interview went really well and they said they would get with me this week to tell me their decision. Well I didn't get it. But deep down in my heart, somehow I knew I didn't get it, even though it was one of the best interviews I think I had ever done. They all said how impressed they were with me and how much enthusiasm I had, but something still didn't seem right. I struggled with this feeling all weekend and early into the week. Then I got the email saying the company was going a different direction. 

I wasn't even mad or sad, but more confused. I worked so hard all through college to try to get good grades and get as many sports internships as I could. I did seven in less than three years! I tried to meet as many people as I could because I knew in sports it wasn't about what you knew, it was who you knew. Now I'm here today sitting at my computer with lipstick swatches all over my hand because I'm about to film a video for YouTube thinking sports might not be what I'm supposed to do. 

I texted my best friend and let out all of my anger and frustration about what God wanted me to do next. I was sure sports was it. I knew I could work in a male dominated industry, but the more I thought about it the more I became upset at the thought of working in a field where women are told "No" so many times. 

Emily sent me this verse from Deuteronomy that says, "Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." - Deuteronomy 31:6 (The Message translation).

I knew in that moment that sports wasn't going to be my thing in this season of life, even if I applied for a million sports jobs (which it seems like I have) those doors are closing. She gave me some proper best friend advice, which was really needed because I could not contain my angry tears at the doors God had closed. What was that advice? "Find a job that has a skill you might be interested in but never had time to devote too...Twenty somethings don't get their dream jobs all of the time. But most of the time, they figure out who they are and what they're good at. That's what your 20's are for. To make mistakes. To learn. To grow up. But, you have to be willing to step out and take a chance on something."

So this is my moment to change and try something new. I know I love makeup and I have a talent for it. Some of the best makeup artists in the world have said so! (God bless you Lisa Eldridge and Lottie Tomlinson) So maybe makeup is going to be that new thing I try. Maybe it's just getting a weird job just to try out something new. But I know that God has had this planned out since before I was in school and before time began, so I have great joy in knowing I am going to be okay. 

And like the great philosopher's Harry, Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn said "There's nothing to be afraid of, even when the night changes."